Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Keeping me in your arms
I think I get it now, what you think when you think of me. I'm sorry I'm this way,I really am,It's true. But I know it must tear you up to realize I've grown up,I've changed and that the road you set me on was a mile the other way. I don't really hate life like I tend to say. It doesn't always suck not each and every day. I know you think that I'm gone, the little girl you lovedseems dead . I want to be that little girl again,the one who hugged you tight and never let go,the one who looked up to you. I wish you realized I still do. Now I know why you told me to come to you and why it was so important and why everything I did was such a big deal. It must have broke your heart,watching the one who used to wear little dresses,wear long sleeves to cover the scars on her arms. It's for me and it weighs more on me than any teen should carry over her heart and shoulders. It hurts trying to hide it from youand watching you think the way you do. It hurts pushing that hand you give out time and time again away.
Mom I get it now,you love me and I love you.I'll say I hate you and you'll think
it isn't true.You'll see my scars and think it's your fault.You'll over fill my
plate and watch as I don't eat all the food while thinking I won't put that
clean fork down with a clank.I really get it and I'm sorry for it because I
don't think there's anything I can do.
I'm sorry for all the wrong things that I've done to you and Dad. Maybe I wasn't able to fully developed my maturity. Right now. I'm still hoping that we could forget the past and live the present and keep living the future.
I want my Mom to be happy this Mother's Day and i will make it happen.
I Love You so much Mom! Happy Mother's Day.
R E J N thought hard on 10:40 AM.
